Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
