His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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