i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
