...so i touched it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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