I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
