I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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