i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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