Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
