Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
