this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
