sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
