got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
