Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
