I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
