Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
