You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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