I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
