just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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