am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
