it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize