make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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