you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
