the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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