we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize