I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
