So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
