Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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