yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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