She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
