he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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