They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
