Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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