last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My vagina just recognized that song.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
