It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
