chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
