we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
