i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
