I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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