Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
