spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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