Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
