so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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