wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Randomize
