What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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