I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
