Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
