the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
