She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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