It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
