ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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