Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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