yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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