would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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