At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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