My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
