i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
