lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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