Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
