Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
