She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
