I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Be still, my beating vagina.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
