Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
