Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
