I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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