some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
