I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
