I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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