No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How does it feel to date your dad?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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