I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
