I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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