We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
In other news, I just burned my penis
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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