Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
