Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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